36 weeks

I was going to post after my 36 week check up, which was suppose to be yesterday but it was canceled so I figured I would go ahead and post anyway about the last two weeks.

I had my last check up at 34 weeks and will now be going every week. Like I said, I was suppose to go yesterday but due to another very lucky lady who went into labor, I had to reschedule for tomorrow morning. The past two weeks seemed to have crawled and fly by all at once. I am starting to feel like this pregnancy will never end but yet at the end of the week am amazed that another week has gone past. Physically I am doing okay. Typical aches and pains, bachaches, etc. But, I am hanging in there. It is just frustrating at times to find that the most normal activities like climbing stairs, getting off the couch, cooking dinner take so much energy and are uncomfortable. Thankfully, I have found a good pillow for between the legs at night that has really helped with my back and hip pain so I have been sleeping a lot better lately. I have also been blessed with a pretty strong bladder so I only wake up maybe once during the night to go to the bathroom and some nights not at all. In the past two weeks my heartburn has gotten worse, but it is still pretty mild. Two or three tums and I am good to go.
Emotionally and mentally I feel like I am hanging on by a thread some days. I go back and forth between panic attacks that in 3 1/2 short weeks I will be responsible for another person's life and can I REALLY handle that. Then in almost the same thought I am wishing this baby would get here already because I am SO done being pregnant. I have always been an emotional person, but I will tell you these hormones are killing me. I feel like I am a crazy person and then I feel guilty for feeling so crazy and around and around the thought process goes. It is taking its toll that is for sure.
As for life in the past two weeks, it too has been a roller coaster. We finished the baby's room completely shortly after my mom left a few weeks ago. I truly love that room. I can go up there and just sit and rock in the recliner. We are also fairly prepared now with all that we need for baby's arrival. My bag is packed for the hospital with my stuff and baby's. And all of the clothes, toys, etc have been washed and put away.
Derek spent last week in Reno, NV so I was home alone all week. He bowled in the USBC Masters tournament and did great, making match play again this year. He is really one of the best bowlers in the world, if only our sport was a bit more mainstream with a larger cash flow he would go pro, but we like to not wonder how we will make our mortgage payment. So, until bowling becomes a bit more lucrative we will keep our jobs and he will continue to bowl on the side.
While Derek was gone was tough on me, it really wasn't the bad parts of the week. Unfortunately, we had lay-offs here at USBC and one of my closest friends and co-worker in my department lost her job. That happened on a Monday. Needless to say it was not a great start to the week. But, she is strong and smart and will do great things outside of the walls of USBC. I have no doubt in that. Later that week, on top of being sad about the people who were let go, I got a wonderful stomach virus. Starting Wednesday night I was so sick. I can't remember the last time I felt that horrible. Puking, diarehea, cold sweats, it was pretty bad. I went to work finally on Friday but had to leave early b/c I still wasn't feeling up to par. I finally felt completely better Sunday morning. So, the week not only started crappy but ended that way too. At least by the end of the week Derek was home and I was feeling better. So, we shared a wonderful Valentine's Day at home. I cooked a nice dinner for us and he had surprised me with an Edible Arrangements treat.
The start of this week, besides my canceled doctor's appt. has been much better. After a much needed cry after one of my panic attacks I finally feel better and a little more in control. I think that is what has been the hardest for me. I am a control freak and a planner. And, not knowing what labor is going to be like, when it is going to come, what kind of parent I am going to be has really been hard for me to handle. I feel out of control of everything. Thankfully, I have wonderful friends who offer support and advice and I have the best husband in the world. He shares in my fears but he is so strong and supportive and knowing we are in this together makes it a lot easier to know we are going to be okay.
Now, hopefully tomorrow I will get in for my appt. and this wonderful baby will decide he/she wants to make an entrance into the world in the next few weeks.